


Disillusioned.

by orphan_account



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: F/M, M/M, Potential Spoilers, Tags May Change, characters may be added, negotiating the lilith mess, tags may be changed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:08:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22276858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: You are not Lilith. And that's all you can say.
Relationships: Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Belphegor/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Lucifer/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 378





	Disillusioned.

It all came crashing down sooner than you expected. At first you thought it would be something totally different than what it turned out to be. _“You are a descendant of human Lilith.”_ It should have been nothing major, nothing important. It should have been a scheme Diavolo pulled. It should have made brothers question what Diavolo was planning on and what Devildom will come to be… But they didn’t. They paid attention to you. And they did so in a way that made you rebuke all of them.

Lilith!

Lilly!

Lil!

Lilith…

Lilith…

You were not Lilith. You were so detached from her it was ridiculous. It was centuries ago. It was so long ago you questioned Diavolo’s words. But they didn’t, and it hurt more than anything. Lilith! You were no longer you to them. You were Lilith in some way or another, they saw the little sister they lost a long time ago. You were a substitute for them now. Even Belphegor, determined to destroy the human world, suddenly softened towards you. It hurt even more so. You helped him because you wanted to help him because you felt sympathetic. Because you were human and believed in personal freedom. Because you didn’t want any of the brothers to hurt because of his absence or the deception that was happening. It all turned to naught. You were just Lilith now.

You didn’t look like her. That would be something they’d all remember. Perhaps you shared a trait or two but that’s not that uncommon among people. Look how alike Mammon and Lucifer can be. So why did they only see Lilith in you now? Even Mammon who became your first friend here was slipping up.

Lily!

Lilith!

Lilith…

You locked the door to your room wanting to be alone more than anything. If someone were to accidentally call you Lilith again you’d throw up.

Lily!

Lilith!

Lilith…

There was a knock on the door. You had no doubt it was Mammon. Every brother had their way to knock on the door and Mammon’s was a bit too enthusiastic.

“Whatcha doing there!?” Mammon asked behind the door. You groaned. He wouldn’t understand what was wrong with you. That you felt lost and confused and betrayed. Probably very close to how Belphegor felt. You were lost because of the realization your ancestor was an angel-born-demon. That was weird to think about. Confused because you had no clue what it meant for you as an individual. Was Diavolo stalking your family for centuries? Betrayed by brother’s reaction to the revelation.

Lilith!

Lilith!

Lilith!

Lilith!

Lilith!

Lilith.

Lilith…

Lilith…

“Hey!” Mammon shouted. “Come on out, or I’ll break the door!”

“Leave me alone!” you shouted in retaliation, angered and frustrated. The knocking stopped. You heard faint steps distancing away from your door. _Shit. The pact._ You felt both guilty and strangely relieved. Guilty for enforcing the pact on Mammon. He had wronged you, sure, but you wronged him too. And it was all a mess, to be honest. Your strange ancestry wasn’t helping the messy situation in the House of Lamentation.

Yet you felt so relieved knowing you could make five demons leave you be if they got too much to handle with simple words and excuses. Lucifer and Belphegor weren’t under your command but… It’s Lucifer and Belphegor. Clinginess wasn’t in their list of qualifications. Lucifer was shaken a bit by the news. No wonder since he was the one who made the ultimate sacrifice. And Belphegor…. Well, he was always hard to read but he was emotional about the whole ordeal. About as emotional as anyone as guarded and closed-off can be. You found it harder to blame him for the Lilith thing since he spent the least amount of time with you. To him, you were a human tool of getting out of his cage. He didn’t know you as a person and he didn’t care for that at that time. Yet his behavior is most hypocritical too. Belphegor killed you and wanted to destroy the human world but now that Lilith was in the picture…

But could you blame him too? He thought… It didn’t matter. You wanted to sympathize with him, you truly did and that’s why you helped him. But he was exactly accepting of it. You could see that his anger and hate were coming from a place of hurt and anguish and survivor’s guilt And yet…

_No, don’t think about them. Sleep._

You didn’t come out of your room until way past curfew. There was still a chance of running into one of the brothers — especially Beelzebub — but you had no option. It either to starve yourself in the room or go to the kitchen and bring some snacks. You tiptoed around and walked closed to the walls desperately listening to any sounds around you. You’d rather avoid being seen and spoken too. You were afraid you’d snap at the unfortunate soul….um….grimoire… if you were to face one of the brothers.

“Shit,” you swore under your breath when you finally realized someone was in the kitchen. He was very quiet, you couldn’t sense his presence until it was too late. Lucifer…

“Can’t sleep?” he asked matter-of-factly. “No wonder, truly. Neither can I, of course. Come in, I’ll make us both some tea.” You sulked and cursed quietly yet there was no way to deny Lucifer. He would find a way to make you stay regardless if he wanted to. So, you might just make your life easier. You sat on the chair patiently waiting for Lucifer to start speaking. He wouldn’t have invited you to stay unless he had to give you a piece of his mind. You learned that during the retreat.

“You spent the whole day in your room,” Lucifer said calmly, pouring a cup. “Are you feeling alright?” You hesitated to answer. He had yet to slip up with the naming thing, but you couldn’t fully trust him with his overbearing sense of responsibility and pride. The way you were feeling about Lilith, it was bound to slander him.

“You are my guest here and an exchange student,” he continued talking, slowly persuading, “if something isn’t—”

“It’s Lilith,” you said defeatedly, giving up. Lucifer wasn’t an idiot, he knew from the beginning what was bothering you. That’s why he started to remind you who you were here: a guest and an exchange student.

“I’m afraid I don’t fully understand,” Lucifer confessed. That must have been hard to admit for the Avatar of Pride.

“You all see me as Lilith now,” you said begrudgingly. “But I am not her.”

“Ah,” Lucifer’s expression relaxed. “I guess it’s only natural for you to feel this way,” he spoke as he sat in from of you.

“Even you slipped up, Lucifer,” you reminded. His expression immediately fell.

“I apologize,” he said genuinely. “I was — I should have…”

You raised your brows. Lucifer was at loss for words. He was failing to speak his mind. That was quite something. He was struggling with something. How selfish of you to think you were the only one suffering in this situation. They all had lost a sister. Even if they were desperate to find Lilith in you, to see her in you, the reality was cruel. Lilith was dead. Perhaps she got to live her life happily as a human, but she was dead and gone, and the brothers all remembered her as she was defeated in battle. And Lucifer’s sacrifice…

“It’s fine, I guess,” you said instead, trying to comfort him. It wasn’t easy to comfort Lucifer ever. “It’s just… I’m lost and confused and frustrated,” you confessed. “For so many reasons. You guys… I thought… I thought we’ve become friends. But now everyone sees me as Lilith. And I am not Lilith and, what’s more, one day you all will become disillusioned and then…And then I don’t know what will happen.”

Lucifer chuckled, “I assure you, none of us will become disillusioned. You aren’t Lilith, I’m afraid we all know that on some level. And yet it’s comforting to think that in a way you are.”

You snickered. The Avatar of Pride was doing a terrible job at helping you out. He was only confirming your fears and suspicions.

“It’s not disillusion,” Lucifer continued talking, dropping his voice an octave. “Mere acceptance that Lilith is gone forever and all we have from her is you.”

“But I am me,” you reminded him.

“Yes indeed, you are you,” Lucifer smiled. “Do not worry about us being disillusioned. After all, Mammon was taken with you before he knew who you were. And Leviathan called you a true friend before the revelation.”

“Well, yes,” you mumbled apprehensively.

“Satan will always be grateful for your guidance,” Lucifer continued with a smile playing on his face. “Asmodeus always found you beautiful. Beelzebub is forever indebted to you for freeing Belphegor—”

“But Belphegor isn’t,” you bit. “He hates me and my kind and the only reason he didn’t kill me is Lilith! The reason Diavolo choose me is Lilith! I am nothing but Lilith to any of you!”

There it was. Your snap. You stood from the chair, dropping the cup on the floor. The porcelain crushed against the floor, cracked and fell apart. The liquid inside now spilled. Your eyes strained on the mess you’ve created. How much you could relate to the broken mug. Hot tears were streaming down your face. The anger and frustration you had bottled up were spilling all over the place. The bottle had broken.

Lucifer stood from his seat calmly. You bolted. AS if you could outrun a demon. His grip on you was vice-like but never hurt you. He was either angry and controlled himself nicely or he wasn’t angry at all which didn’t suit the situation. You had just snapped at him, broke a mug and created a mess in the kitchen…

“Stop that,” he spoke softly, wiping away the tears from your face. “It’s unbecoming for—”

“For Lilith?” you spat.

“For someone who managed to subdue five demons,” he said with a self-satisfied smirk. There were no better words of comfort that the acknowledgment of something you managed to do. Lilith wasn’t involved there. You had done it by yourself and you were motivated to form pacts by your own decisions…Right? Lilith had nothing to do with it. You just wanted to help Belphegor and help brothers reconcile…Right? You felt for Belphie because you believed in personal freedom, right? You did all this because…

Your thoughts were spiraling down do quickly you stopped paying attention to Lucifer and his gentle touch on your face. You didn’t notice how his expression changed or how grip on your wrist loosened and shifted to your waist.

“You are not Lilith,” Lucifer’s voice pulled you from the dark void of your mind, “I know that. And I can prove it to you.”

“What? How?” you asked pulling away a bit. The situation was a bit intense for your liking.

“Lilith was a much better dancer,” he said with a smirk. You hit him on the chest playfully.

“Mean,” you said but smiled nonetheless.


End file.
